Mr Sauron Guy
by Frodo Liv3s
Summary: Parody of American Pie. "Mr. Sauron Guy!" Please read and review.


**Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is property of J. R. R. Tolkien, and American Pie is written by Don McLean.**

**Mr. Sauron Guy (Sung to the tune of American Pie) **

**A long, long time ago,**

**I can still remember how**

**My uncle's stories used to make me smile.**

**And I knew if I had my chance,**

**That I could watch those Elves dance, **

**And maybe I'd be happy for a while.**

**But what happened—well, it wasn't fun.**

**I'll show you how it all begun.**

**I'll start from the beginning.**

**When I first stopped winning.**

**I don't remember if I screamed**

**When Bilbo vanished and**

**Left me his ring.**

**Gandalf came and started to sing:**

**The ring was an evil thing.**

**Bye, bye, Mr. Sauron Guy.**

**Took a ring, made him king,**

**Now he's just a big eye.**

**And he lost his ring **

**And he started to cry,**

**Singing "This'll be the day you all die.**

**This'll be the day you all die."**

**Gandalf read in book**

**That the ring was worse than it looked,**

**Even though it was really small.**

**He threw the ring into the fire**

**And I saw writing that was dire**

**And I screamed and threw the ring**

**Away.**

**Well I know the ring was poisonous**

**But the Ring Wraths were closin' in on us.**

**I put the ring in my pocket…**

**Sam at the window? We forgot to lock it! **

**I was an angsty teenage hobbit guy,**

**With gardener Sam by my side.**

**We knew we had to run and hide,**

**The day, that we all cried.**

**AND WE WERE SINGING**

**Bye, bye, Mr. Sauron Guy.**

**Took a ring, made him king,**

**Now he's just a big eye.**

**And he lost his ring **

**And he started to cry,**

**Singing "This'll be the day you all die.**

**This'll be the day you all die."**

**Now for 10 hours, we'd been travelin' on.**

**And we were walking in a field of corn**

**When Pippin and Merry came on the scene.**

**We fell down a really steep hill **

**And nearly got ourselves killed**

**But instead we ate**

**Mushrooms.**

**Suddenly I got a weird feeling,**

**The Ring Wrath wasn't appealing.**

**We went to the Prancing Pony,**

**Where we were all aloney.**

**Pippin, Merry, Sam were drinkin' beer.**

**I looked 'cross the room with lost of fear.**

**And I saw Strider sitting there**

**The day that we all cried.**

**AND WE WERE SINGING**

**Bye, bye, Mr. Sauron Guy.**

**Took a ring, made him king,**

**Now he's just a big eye.**

**And he lost his ring **

**And he started to cry,**

**Singing "This'll be the day you all die.**

**This'll be the day you all die."**

**The other hobbits were really dumb—**

**They lit a fire and then my shoulder went numb.**

**From a Ring Wrath's evil sword.**

**I moaned and groaned like an angsty guy**

**And then shiny Arwen came by.**

**I think that maybe Strider likes her…**

**And she took me down to Rivendell,**

**Where things were really kinda swell.**

**We all fought over the nasty shiny thing…**

**WE CREATED THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING!**

**And there was forboding drum music then…**

**Then it started happened again!**

**Do you think I could borrow a pen?**

**The day, that we all cried.**

**AND WE WERE SINGING**

**Bye, bye, Mr. Sauron Guy.**

**Took a ring, made him king,**

**Now he's just a big eye.**

**And he lost his ring **

**And he started to cry,**

**Singing "This'll be the day you all die.**

**This'll be the day you all die."**

**Then we all set off for Mordor,**

**And I had a severe Anxiety Disorder**

**As the ring took over me.**

**So come on Gandalf be careful, darn, Gandalf looks small…**

**Gandalf, don't do that, you will fall…**

**Damnit, Gandalf, time for some more angst.**

**And as I watched him descend into hell,**

**I wished I was back in Rivendell.**

**That darn CGI flaming thing…**

**I held tight to the ring.**

**And as we came out of the cave,**

**We cried over an invisible grave**

**And Gimli really needed to shave**

**The day that we all cried.**

**AND WE WERE SINGING**

**Bye, bye, Mr. Sauron Guy.**

**Took a ring, made him king,**

**Now he's just a big eye.**

**And he lost his ring **

**And he started to cry,**

**Singing "This'll be the day you all die.**

**This'll be the day you all die."**

**We were randomly by a river,**

**And then I began to shiver,**

**Cuz Borimir tried to eat me and my ring.**

**I got into a boat to run away,**

**And I told Sam he had to stay—**

**Oh yeah, Pippin and Merry went poof, by the way.**

**And on the shore, Legolas sighed,**

**Strider was with Borimir,**

**And Sam cried.**

**He was about to drown…**

**He couldn't let me down.**

**And the one men I admire most…**

**Gandalf, he is now a ghost.**

**I want some angst-curing cinnamon toast.**

**The day that we all cried.**

**Bye, bye, Mr. Sauron Guy.**

**Took a ring, made him king,**

**Now he's just a big eye.**

**And he lost his ring **

**And he started to cry,**

**Singing "This'll be the day you all die.**

**This'll be the day you all die."**

**AND WE WERE SINGING**

**Bye, bye, Mr. Sauron Guy.**

**Took a ring, made him king,**

**Now he's just a big eye.**

**And he lost his ring **

**And he started to cry,**

**Singing "This'll be the day you all die.**

**This'll be the day you all die."**


End file.
